Kenny and I have had a great year for so many reasons... We finally were able to get our clearance to get sealed in the Salt Lake City temple. When I opened the letter from the first presidency, I immediately started crying. We have been trying to get this done since we got engaged, but b/c of Bishop's and Stake Presidents losing paperwork, ex's being ex's, etc. it took FOREVER. We got sealed on September 1, 2012 and it really was one of the most special days of my life aside from our wedding day. It is so amazing to be sealed to someone for eternity. Someone I love and respect more than anyone else that has come into my life. He is my best friend. When I first met Kenny we were both at a "low" in our lives. Both recently divorced neither one of us had a lot of trust in others and had lost faith in marriage and love. We had both been made to feel as if we weren't "worth" happiness. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am for Kenny coming into my life. He seriously is my rock. Anyone that knows Kenny knows three major things about him 1.He will ALWAYS make you laugh 2. He is the most easy going person and patient on the planet. 3. He is the most loyal friend, husband, son, brother, Uncle, etc., etc. etc. Love the guy and grateful he keeps me on my toes.
He seriously is the greatest.
While this year has been SO great for so many reasons we've also faced a few trials. Everyone has them right? But there has been one big one that honestly has shaken my faith a little. Thank goodness for a level headed hubby that has helped me hold it together and remember what's important. I have found myself asking the questions, "Why us? What am I doing wrong?". I've even found myself saying to Heavenly Father in my prayers, "Don't you think Kenny and I both have had it rough enough? Don't we deserve a break after what we both overcome." Now I know, that's isn't really the way to get what you want. In fact, it's kind of the selfish thing to say. He's blessed me with a lot. More things than most. In fact, what we are going through is MINOR in comparison to the trials others experience. Heavenly Father is also the only reason either one of us made it through the trials the way we did. I should be grateful and probably stop feeling so sorry for us. But it's so hard for me being in the moment to remember that. I get so frustrated. I wish I didn't, but I can't help it. Lately from conversations with my family and close friends I've realized that I need to quit asking "Why us? We've already been through a lot." and instead ask, "What am I supposed to learn from all of this? What is it that you want me to do?" and more importantly show a little more gratitude for the many things we DO have that others don't.
One thing I have come to determine that he is trying to get me to learn from all of this is how to be patient. I have NEVER been a very patient person. In fact I like to call Kenny my "patience" because it literally doesn't exist in my body. He has enough patience for both of us. Obviously though I can't rely on that forever right? What it comes down to is this... I need to have a little more faith in Heavenly Father.The other day while I was cleaning I actually read this cute little decoration I had bought and didn't realize how perfect it was for us. Now, I'm sure I read it when I bought it, but more then anything I bought it cause it was "cute", not realizing how applicable it was to me. The quote is:
Reading that was like someone slapped me across the face and said, "Duh Emily." Faith in him doesn't just mean having faith he is there. Faith requires so much more than that... including having faith in his timing. It requires a little patience. SO...I'm working on it. I'm trying my hardest to put everything in his hands and just do what it is I know I'm supposed to be doing in my life. I need to keep up on developing my testimony, my relationship with Kenny, my relationship with Christ and then let him guide me where I need to go. I'll let you all know how it goes. In the mean time I'm going to continue to enjoy our lives right now, working on developing the even better me, and looking for all the blessings I have rather then the "trials"... and most importantly I'm really really really going to start trying to practice PATIENCE.